Queery

Today I went to a queer theory discussion group. I didn't know quite what queer theory was, but I thought I might as well give it a go and see what happened.

The group was run by Quinn, whom I had encountered before; I had thought Quinn to be male, as she does not act in a particular feminine manner (though is somewhat effeminate), and still looks somewhat masculine. I was mistaken, as Quinn refers to herself as 'she'; this is not the first time I've encountered a transgender person, but was the first time I'd met someone who identified as another gender and did not particularly espouse any mannerisms associated with that gender. I'm trying desperately hard not to be offensive here, and am not intending to disparage anyone in a similar position- this blog is at least somewhat diaristic in nature and this was a first for me.
I soon realised that in this group I was the normal one for only identifying as a gay biologically-born male; I do not think anyone else there was quite as solid about their identity. I heard at least one 'I don't like labels', which I've never understood, because labels are incredibly useful and you can be labelled as something without demonstrating all the traits associated with it, which, from what I understand, is that from which the objections spring. Of course, if someone doesn't want to apply labels to themselves, then I have no right to force them to, but there are so many labels available that I can't imagine there isn't one that describes you. For example, sexuality, I can think of: heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual. What permeation of sexuality has not been covered by these? I personally don't see why we need both 'pansexual' and 'omnisexual' as no one has explained to me the difference between them. And then, with gender, there is biologically-male, biologically-female, mentally-male, mentally-female (I would personally collapse these into two categories 'male' and 'female' but I can see why some may want to distinguish), intersex, agendered. Yet again, I cannot see what has not been covered by these. Unless you want to propose an entire other gender (as opposed to a twist on a current one) I don't see what isn't there in the labels currently. And you can pick two of these labels from the category and combine them; that's two labels, that's all, to describe how you identify. I fail to see what's lacking from this system. I understand that people's attitudes towards some of the identities are problematic, but that's a different issue entirely.
But, as I said, I cannot force people to accept labels, if they don't want to, then they don't have to. We discussed the power of words, and why the department calls itself the 'queer department' as opposed to LGBTIQA, which admittedly is a little cumbersome. I don't like the word 'queer', simply because its definition is 'unusual' and I like to think it's my personality that sets me apart, not my sexuality. And what was odd was that someone who identified as 'queer' actually asked me 'well, who's to say what's normal'? Well, you're denoting everyone else as normal by declaring yourself queer; you're defining yourself in opposition to them.
Of course, being on the left, we are not allowed to tell people how to act or get cross when they don't agree with us, so we were all very polite and careful not to offend. I don't know if I'll go back, because although some of the people seemed cool, I don't know if I'm particularly interested in discussing queer theory. Or 'not heteronormative theory' if we're being blunt.