Suma-ho!

The walk I just came back from read like a bad piece of fanfiction; Aspen started off by talking about how much everyone loves her, and how lame her best friend is by comparison. There were some pop culture references- "have you played the Pokemon PETA game?" "When will Blizzard make a Warcraft 4?"- which served no purpose other than to date the fic for anyone who reads it in two months' time. There was a section where we spoke about our feelings in overwraught language-" I think I want kids" "It's just so hard, you know, being this perfect?". There was even a really awkwardly shoe-horned in Chekohov's gun, when Aspen, for no reason, pointed out a random path and said "that leads up to my favourite restaurant", which came in handy to solve the completely contrived plot conflict- another key indicator of bad fanfic- which appeared when we got completely lost and had to clambour up a slippy hill in the rain, grabbing onto random weeds, which our scrambled brain kept on seeing as snakes; Aspen spotted the same path and managed to lead us back. And, of course, Jason delivered his catchphrase:

Neato!...Derp.

Honestly, my dialogue was handled well, it was extremely sharp and made me by far the most likable character in the history of ever, but apart from that it was overly long, kinda repetitive and just a bit...wet. (Get it?! cos it was raining!)